Dr. Douchebag’s Final Look Back at 2009 & Preview of 2010

The 2010 Baseball Season Preview magazines are starting to appear on magazine racks across the country. Why plop down $10 when your own Dr. Douchebag serves up his take on the 2010 Cubs. Originally written right after the last out of the 2009 season with a recently added postscript.

The final-game loss ended the Cubs’ disappointing and miserable season in fitting fashion, and now it’s time to start pointing fingers, assigning gold stars for effort and performance, and also to look ahead to the offseason that will prepare the almighty Cub for the glorious assault on the trophy with all the flags on it in 2010. “Wait ’til next year, miserable Cub fans! Wait ’til next year!”

First of all, as agonizing and disappointing as the season’s been, the surprising thing is that this season wasn’t actually as bad as it seems. Yes, the Cub sucked for long periods, and failed to run away with the division in the way everybody predicted, but even so, they won more games than they lost, and the pitching staff was great.

The pitching staff was great. Ted Lilly, the only Cub all-star, and the only Cub who deserved to be an all-star, was dependable all season. Randy Wells was a great surprise for everyone, and it will be exciting to see him take the mound again next year. His rookie season not only saw him tied (with Lilly) for the most wins by a Cub pitcher, it also saw him go through just about every single thing a pitcher can go through, and emerge to strike out ten batters in his final start of the season. He pitched like a Cy Young winner in his first few starts, and got absolutely nothing in run support. He got hammered a few times, and always shook it off to throw well in his next start. He seems like the real deal. Okay, Zambrano was even more of a nutcase than usual and Harden was Harden, but Dempster was solid without being spectacular, and the bullpen was solid, despite the flakiness of Kevin Gregg, the early struggles of Marmol (who, as closer saved 11 of 11 chances) and the presence of Aaron Heilman. Gorzelanny and Grabow were good acquisitions. Both this season, and looking forward to 2010, the Cub looks more or less in place pitching-wise, given a few adjustments here and there.

The Cubs sucked both at the plate and in the field this year, and that’s the reason they didn’t do what we hoped. The reasons for all the suckage, of course, get complicated. Some of it was just plain not being good enough. I don’t know how many times Ryan Theriot threw the ball over Derek Lee’s head, but it seems like he did it once a series. In any case, he made 15 errors. But it’s unfair to pick on one guy (although I will do exactly that with Douchebag of the Year a bit later). Soriano dropped balls, guys botched routine plays, in general, the fielding should’ve been much better. The Cubs simply weren’t good enough, neither in the field, nor at the plate.

Injuries seem to me to be the biggest culprit. Soriano played hurt all year, and whatever the (lack of) wisdom of that, it made an obvious difference to his output. For the one short stretch of the season he wasn’t injured, or not much injured, he was hitting homeruns like they were going out of style. Reed Johnson was out for a huge chunk of the season too, and even though he’s not an everyday player, his enthusiasm on the field was missed just as much as Mark DeRosa. Aaron Miles, who was brought in to fill the utility role that DeRosa played, spent most of the season injured. All of the pitchers spent time on the DL, although the Cub coped with that reasonably well. The biggest injuries were Aramis Ramirez and Geovanny Soto. Ramirez is simply irreplaceable; the middle of the lineup becomes much more dangerous when Derek Lee has Aramis hitting behind him. Having Aramis in the middle of the lineup also takes pressure off of some of the other hitters behind him. Soto never really seemed to get back into a hitting rhythm after his injury problems, and despite the more than capable job that Koyie Hill performed, Geo’s bat was needed. Luckily there’s no World Baseball Classic next year.

And let’s come to the Douchebag of the Year. Even if Milton Bradley had put up half-decent numbers (and even with his good OBP), this guy seriously dampened every Cub spirit this year, fan and player and front office alike. When the manager has to call you a piece of shit in the middle of the game, you’re not a team player. When you whine about the pressure almost as soon as you step onto the field, you’re not a team player. His presence, even when he had decent games, seemed disruptive to the often overrated, but nonetheless at least moderately important, team spirit. I spent a long part of this season trying to defend Milton Bradley, but as has been well documented on this website and pretty much everywhere else in the baseball-caring world, the guy is a major league asshole, and a major league douchebag. If the Cub can’t unload him (which, presumably as long as they’re willing to foot a big chunk of his wage bill, they can), they should just ship him down to Florida to play A-ball next season.

Time to get positive:

Player of the Year: Derek Lee. Pretty much singlehandedly carried the team at times.

Rookie of the Year: Randy Wells. See above.

Unsung Hero of the Year: Koyie Hill. Exceeded expectations with his bat, even though he ended the season with a .237 batting average. He got a number of clutch hits. He even hit two triples, for crying out loud. He caught game after game after game after game after game after game while Soto was injured. Hill won the backup job in spring training, and justified it every single time he played this season.

Fan of the Year: Cubbie Kenny.

Wrigley Field Promotional Giveaway of the Year: Floppy Hat Day!

Offseason ramblings of a man with a PhD in Douchebaggery:

I don’t think the Cub can, will, or should do a whole lot in the offseason. As I said at the start, this season wasn’t all that bad (ask Mets fans) and a little bit of tinkering will probably be all the Cub needs to do, once Milton Bradley has been shipped to Canada or Florida A-ball.

Outfield: Sam Fuld made enough of an impression to think that the Cub outfield next year could be Soriano in left, Fukudome in right, and Fuld or a platoon of Fuld/Johnson (if he’s back) in center. Jake Fox’s bat and willingness to play wherever he’s needed makes him a useful player to have on the bench.

Infield: The corners are set, but middle infield is the place where the Cub could actually do a lot. Jeff Baker was a surprise at second base after he came over from Colorado, and deserves a shot at earning himself the job in spring training. Fontenot was a disappointment this season, but it seems stupid to judge him on one season alone; that said, he might be useful trade fodder, especially if the Cub want to try to get somebody useful out of the Milton Bradley trade (packaging Bradley with a useful player or two might seal a deal). At shortstop, Theriot is a solid hitter and plays hard, but he is something of a liability—although not a huge one—in the field. Andres Blanco proved what an excellent fielder he is when he got the chance to play, but it remains to be seen how useful he can be as an everyday player at the plate (.252 average, .295 OBP). I’d go so far as to say if Theriot could be used as part of a trade for someone of genuine all-star quality at shortstop or second base, I’d be tempted to do it. That said, if Theriot is the starting shortstop next year, as seems most likely, the Cub is still in good shape. He’s a good player.

Pitching: The Cub doesn’t really need to do much, pitching-wise. There will be a lot of competition for rotation and starting places. Jeff Samardzja is pitching in the Mexican league this winter to try to get ready to compete for a rotation job, Marmol will hopefully be more confident now that he’ll be the closer, and in general, even with a few changes (will Harden be back?) the Cub have a solid pitching staff.

February is almost here. What? The World Series hasn’t even started? Whatever.

Dr. Douchebag.

Postscript: Since the MCF can’t get off his lazy ass to post these things when I write them, I’m adding a postscript here in early 2010. I think there’s not much to say: Bradley’s gone! Ding-Dong! Hooray! I hope Silva takes this opportunity to prove that despite what everyone thinks, and despite his numbers, he doesn’t actually suck. And the noises being made about Byrd make me think that even if he isn’t the flashiest centerfielder in the universe, he might just be what we need in a Cub uniform in 2010. Dr. Douchebag is staying positive. And circling the start of Spring Training on his calendar.