From the category archives:

Alfonso Soriano

If only MLB would take pity on the plight of all miserable Cubs fans and allow our beloved team to play the Nationals for the remainder of this season's schedule. The Nationals took pity on Alfonso Soriano and served up a fastball (when was the last time a pitcher was dumb enough to throw him anything that was straight, hard, and over the plate?!?!) that Fonzie cranked over the right field wall for his first homer in a month and half. Zambrano throws over 40 pitches in the first inning of his Friday outing and still manages to win the game AND drive in two runs. Fielding errors, baserunning mistakes, leaving men on base in scoring position -- it's a dream team for Milton Bradley!

We can dream can't we? It's come to the point where I would trade Alfonso Soriano, Milton Bradley, and Aaron Heilman for a player to be named later. It's clear the Cubs (surprisingly) have some talent in the farm system and are ready for a shot at the big leagues. I know that Lou is waiting for Soriano to break out of his slump (as Lou says, "he's broken out of slumps .. uh ... in the past and performed .. uh .. great."), but this slump seems different as NL pitchers have finally figured out that Alfonso can only hit the fast ball for power AND watching him "play" left field induces serious nausea in this miserable Cubs fan.

Milton Bradley is done for '09. If you have to "retool" your swing in July, then I think some time in the minor leagues would be a huge plus for all associated with Mr. Bradley.
Aaron Heilman is done for good. I watched him get unmercifully shelled as the Mets tanked last year and this season's supposed New & Improved attitude and stuff is still the same. Heilman, it's time to break out the emory boards and the vaseline because your stuff is brutal.

My Crystal Ball Was Correct — Heilman Blows!

by Dr. Douchebag on July 10, 2009

The day after the Cubs signed Aaron Heilman (1/31/09) I posted the following three videos with the heading "A Peak Into the Future - Welcome to Wrigley Aaron Heilman." My prediction has come to fruition as Heilman truly let the first game with the Cardinals get away with tons of walks and a horrible wild pitch. Can we package him with Milton Bradley and Alfonso Soriano to get an injured Mark DeRosa or Jake Peavey? Pretty please?!?!

Aaron Heilman Getting Booed

Aaron Heilman Booed Off The Mound at Shea

Heilman's Last Pitch of 2008

Lou Piniella checks in for his weekly chat and continues to be surprised by the mood swings of Cub fans. Piniella is thrilled that the Cubs continue to remain three games back with Ramirez on DL, is also delighted with the glove work that Jake Fox is showing at third base, ... AND (say it ain’t so Lou!) that with Reed Johnson and Ramirez coming back next week, Jake Fox might have to go back to the minors(?!?!).

As for Soriano’s “confidence” issues, Piniella has talked with him about the possibility of taking a couple of days off and Lou expresses the same frustration of all Cubs fans as he watches Soriano swinging at bad pitches -- “if he went up there and didn’t swing the bat, he would get a lot of walks!” Finally, Lou reminds all that the Cubs were lacking Ramirez, Guzman, Johnson, and Miles for the Sox series.

LISTEN OR DOWNLOAD - Lou Piniella.mp3

Randy Wells and the Curse of the Bullpen

by MiserableCubsFan on June 3, 2009

Randy Wells

Well now Randy Wells knows that he better damn well pitch a no-hitter in order to get a major league win. For someone who claims that he doesn't have "Ace stuff," he is sure surprising me. All night long he got ahead in the count and consistently threw strikes. Great performance Randy! Now as for Marmol & Gregg ...

Rothchild & Piniella continue to be (unfortunately) correct with their pre-season diagnosis of Carlos Marmol's pitching mentality. Five hit batters? I've lost count as to how many times he has walked the first batter he has seen with four straight pitches. And Kevin "still can't find the strike zone" Gregg -- what the hell? He was up 1 ball and 2 strikes to Jeff Franceour and then decides to throw one right down the middle. It's June already! Please start pitching like you are a professional!

Other rants on a truly miserable loss. Hey Milton "Let's Not Play Today" Bradley, how many times are you going to get hurt running to first base? What's it going to take to get over this problem? Extra stretching? Riding a stationary bike in the dugout? Yoga classes?
Hey Bobby Scales, you spent 11 years in the minor leagues and still haven't mastered the art of laying down a bunt?
Hey Alfonso Soriano, how about even attempting a throw at the end of the game to try and get the winning run from scoring? I absolutely hate the Desginated Hitter rule in the American League, but as long as Soriano remains a Cub I am going to petition the commissioner to institute the DH in the NL. Soriano belongs on the All Star team of crappy outfielders along with Adam Dunn and Chris Duncan.

I have some meaningful thoughts on today's game, but I have to begin with the odd post-putout congratulatory exchange at the bottom of the 1st inning. Cubs first baseman Micah Hoffpauir fielded a slow grounder that was hit along the first base line. Carlos Zambrano hustled over to first but Micah was already on the bag. As the two turned to head to the dugout, Micah went to pat Big Z on the ass, but (alas) Big Z was already turned around. If you have the MLB.TV subscription, check out the archived video as Big Z had an enormous smile on his face as he entered the dugout. Ahhh, what can I say, Spring Training games are not exactly thrilling so how else am I going to get your attention?

OK, on to more civilized conversation ... One piece of baseball strategy that I'm surprised is not used more happened at the very beginning of the game in the Cubs top of the first. Soriano had singled and the next batter, Sam Fuld, attempted a bunt on the first pitch. The pitch was way low and inside and Fuld pulled the bat back to take a ball, however, for the rest of his at bat, both the first and (especially the) third basemen crept in creating some large holes in the infield. Why isn't this done more? Even if the second batter isn't going to actually bunt/sacrifice, why not always show bunt while taking the first pitch of the at bat? I searched for bunting strategies and (oddly enough) I found this New York Times article entitled "The Lost Art" from 2003 that features Alfonso Soriano scoffing at the notion of utilizing -- even practicing -- the bunt. Some things never change ...
Even though the Cubs lost, I was pleased with the game as the Cubs pitching looked so good. Big Z was dominant (his fielding error was the cause of the two Brewer runs) along with strong innings from the rest of the various pitchers. By the way, can Larry Rothchild be any more boring and predictable in his interviews? His interviews are neither informative or entertaining. For someone who has supreme access to the pitching staff, why can't he ever tell us anything of value?
One last thing, Craig Counsell finally dropped the funky "high hands with a twist" batting stance! His new "normal" stance is working as he is batting .600.