Old Tiger Douchebags

The Doucebag of the Week is either: The Detroit Tigers or Steve Stone. See the Chicago Tribune article Chicago Cubs do their best to kill Milton Bradley trade rumor
I REALLY want the douchebag of the week to be the Detroit Tigers, because, because, well… if I have to answer that because, then you shouldn’t be reading this blog.
But a part of me–the part of me that’s always secretly suspected that Steve Stone was a bit of a you-know-what-bag, even though you and I and everyone else reading this loved listening to him trying to keep Harry on track while also predicting that the next pitch would be a double-play-inducing sinker on the inner half of the outside third of the lower tenth of the plate–as I was saying, a part of me kindasorta suspects it’s just Steve Stone. What a douche. Bag.

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If only MLB would take pity on the plight of all miserable Cubs fans and allow our beloved team to play the Nationals for the remainder of this season’s schedule. The Nationals took pity on Alfonso Soriano and served up a fastball (when was the last time a pitcher was dumb enough to throw him anything that was straight, hard, and over the plate?!?!) that Fonzie cranked over the right field wall for his first homer in a month and half. Zambrano throws over 40 pitches in the first inning of his Friday outing and still manages to win the game AND drive in two runs. Fielding errors, baserunning mistakes, leaving men on base in scoring position — it’s a dream team for Milton Bradley!

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3D Baseball Cards! Can I Virtually Smack Soriano, Heilman, and Bradley?

July 17, 2009

Could I please have the Alfonso “Misplaying a Routine Flyball” Soriano 3D card? OK, so I haven’t bought a pack of baseball cards since the 1980s, but these things are pretty cool.

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BattingStanceGuy Hits the Big Time!

July 16, 2009

Back in October Dr. Douchebag gave us the joy of discovering Batting Stance Guy and, look at him now! All grown up and on Letterman’s Late Show! BattingStanceGuy.com is simple in its purpose — one man takes on the batting stances of players from the 1980s-Now. If you were coming of age [...]

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Cubs Lose to the Ludwick Show And Piniella Puts Sean Marshall in Left Field

July 12, 2009

Add left fielder to the positions that Sean Marshall has played. In an unusually crafty move, Piniella removed Soriano from left (always a great idea) to put Marshall (who had just pitched to a batter) so that he could pitch to the next left-handed hitter. Although it didn’t work out quite as planned [...]

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CUBS WIN as Big Z Homers & Pitches Well – But Ohhhhh, Albert

July 12, 2009

I know I should be writing about Big Z getting his first Win in over a month and his 3rd home run of the season, however, I couldn’t help notice the drive and talent of Albert Pujols. King Albert almost turned a routine infield out into a double as Theriot muffed the catch with [...]

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Lilly Shows Why He’s An All-Star as the Cubs Win!

July 12, 2009

Although Carlos Marmol almost blew it for him, Ted Lilly shined as the Cubs cruised for 8 innings over the Cards. In a freaky ninth inning that should have ended on a spectacular double-play by Theriot to Baker to Hoffpauir (a play where both Piniella and LaRussa where arguing with different umpires!), it took [...]

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TRADE RUMOR! Milton Bradley, Alfonso Soriano, and Aaron Heilman traded for a Player to be Named Later!

July 11, 2009

We can dream can’t we? It’s come to the point where I would trade Alfonso Soriano, Milton Bradley, and Aaron Heilman for a player to be named later. It’s clear the Cubs (surprisingly) have some talent in the farm system and are ready for a shot at the big leagues. I know [...]

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