Miserable CUBS Fan

Dr. Douchebag returns after a one-season sabbatical.

The press conference had barely started--in fact, Quade hadn't even been named yet--before the usual douchebag Cubs "fan" critics started moaning and criticizing from their beer-addled positions in their bedrooms. He's the "cheap" option; Sandberg "deserved" the job; the Cubs might as well give up on 2011 now; etc.; etc.; etc. I'm not going to quote from individual comments splattered across what an old lady on BBC television the other day called "this w w w", but I'm guessing that most people reading this wee post have already read some of these kinds of responses already anyway.

There's two main things that make these kinds of critics (these qind of quade qritiqs) douchebags:

1) It's insulting to Mike Quade, about whom they know very little, which is to say, as much as everybody else outside the Cub organization. We've watched Quade coach third base for a few years, and we've watched him manage for six weeks (the only sustained period of the season in which the Cubs actually played decent baseball). While he wouldn't necessarily have been considered for the job without those six weeks, he didn't get the job just because of those six weeks. The man went through a rigorous interview process; also, the man had the vocal, public backing of his players, including important team leaders like Ryan Dempster, who was nothing short of effusive in his praise of Quade as a manager. Those of us in fan-and-blowhard-land don't know anything else about the guy, so it's hardly for us to say he's "the wrong choice" or that we're never going to watch the Cubs again (actually, I hope the people who say that do follow through on their threats, and cancel their Vine Line subscriptions, etc., because as I think this post makes clear, I think they're douchebags). Instead, one should consider responding in the thoughful manner of Sandberg-backer Al Yellon at Bleed Cubbie Blue. I, for one, am glad they chose Quade, and not Sandberg. I wouldn't have been able to bear a Sandberg failure, and I'm glad the sentimental aspects of Cubdom have been tamed for a change, in favor of rational decision-making. Sandberg will be under much less pressure if his first managerial job is a non-Cubs one; let his second or third managerial job be with the Cubs (after Quade has delivered a World Series ring, of course).

2) Presumably Quade was a cheaper option than Sandberg might've been, or Girardi almost certainly would've been, or Pinella or Dusty Baker were; so what? That might just leave extra money for the playing staff payroll, which might mean bringing in a better first baseman (for example) or starting pitcher than otherwise the Cub would've been able to. So the douchebaggery isn't just insulting, it's also short-sighted.

Anyway, the most important thing in all of this is that the Cubs have made a positive, progressive decision that should leave Cubs fans feeling good about the organization going into the offseason; the joy of being a fan is to watch your team do things well on the field, and the Cubs have made a first step in that direction already for the 2011 season. Carping and wailing about it because you've read some articles and you still feel sentimental about 1982-1994 (and probably 1996/97, too) makes you not a fan, but a douchebag.

So let's all go out and buy Mike Quade t-shirts.

In loving douchiness,

Dr. Douchebag